Is Oprah the Antichrist?

Homosexuality--There's Nothing "Gay" About It!

2011-07-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

We'd like to send out a hearty "Amen" this week to Janet Boynes, activist and friend to presidential candidate Michele Bachman, for her tireless efforts in ministering to the gay. Her memoir Called Out: A Former Lesbian's Discovery of Freedom details her own struggle from lesbianism to Godly Womanhood.

If the righteous don't stand up for the Lord and intervene, Boynes predicts that over half of U.S. children will soon be raised by gay couples. That's because prolonged exposure to the gay can actually turn Godly straight people!

As women of God striving to live lives worthy of Him, we understand the temptations posed by the homosexual lifestyle all too well. We live in a world where Oprah Winfrey can openly flaunt her relationship with a person named Gay le King. It's especially difficult nowadays,with they gays out there recruiting and making their lifestyle look so desirable. I mean, who hasn't been flipping channels and accidentally caught a glimpse of the Rachel Maddow Show...and just gazed into her deep brown eyes and imagined gently removing those black frame glasses...peeling off that stylish-yet-practical blazer...Oh, Rachel, tell me again about the debt ceiling...slowly...

I'm sorry, where were we? Pray for America or something. God bless.

Why Burn Books?

2011-07-13T05:46:00.000-07:00

OprahTruth Ministries is engaged in a wide variety of mission projects. There's our main mission, which is of course spreading the word about the Antichrist's true identity and what we can do to stop her. There's our current petition to get the Oprah show back on the air, lest we let our guard down. There's our anti-illuminati task force, Fighting to Unify Christ's Kingdom. All of these initiatives raise the ire of secular humanists.

But perhaps our most controversial endeavor, the one that even the Saved sometimes have trouble understanding, is our LibraryTruth project. "Why do you need to remove Oprah's book club books from libraries?" people ask us. "Isn't it enough to simply not read them? Didn't the Nazis burn books? And what's in these delicious ham balls?"

Let me tell you a story. When I was a little girl I was sent to public school. (The only private schools in our area were either Catholic or Montessori--why not just hand you children directly over to Satan? And my parents couldn't home school me, because Daddy worked full time at the dog track, and Mother was always busy with her BeDazzler.) At that public school, all the other little girls were just wild about Judy Blume books. Every day it was all Superfudge this and Blubber that. Like all little girls, I wanted to fit in, and so I went to the library and checked out a hardback copy of Deenie.

Later that afternoon, a little boy named Petie Bradshaw came up to me and made fun of my beautiful BeDazzled denim jumper. So I whacked him in the face with my copy of Deenie, knocking him unconscious. I guess I knocked something loose, because the poor boy was never the same afterward; to this day, he thinks he smells toast all the time. I have since learned that Deenie has been banned from many school libraries over the years, and I can sure see why. It has a very hard cover and sharp edges.

I made it my goal from that day on to protect vulnerable children from the dangers of books, a goal I still embrace today. (And of course this applies only to the kind of demonic trash Oprah promotes, not to weighty, highbrow literature for adults.) And this weekend, when we have our annual OprahTruth book burning/cookout, I'll be praying for poor Petie, praying for the toast smell to go away.

***

On a side note, many of you have also asked about how the rise of ebooks will affect the future of book burning. Never fear--where there's God's will, there's a way!

OprahTruth 4 Rick Perry--Let's Bring God Back to D.C.!

2011-07-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

We here at OprahTruth Ministries have been despairing about the lack of righteous, conservative contenders so far for the 2012 presidential election--it seems like there's no one to choose from except a lot of Mormons and ladies. We were starting to think we'd have to go with our old standby of voting for Jesus as a write-in.

Happily, though, it looks like there may be a real choice for Godly voters--Texas governor Rick Perry. Perry is unafraid to stand up for our Lord and is even hosting an official day of prayer in Houston on August 6. (Road trip, anyone? We can all wear our T-shirts!)

We were even more excited to learn about some of Perry's associates, since you can tell a lot about people by the company keep. (We've already discussed some of the folks Oprah has as friends.) Perry is scheduled to speak at a dinner for Cornerstone Action, a charity that seeks to help cure people of the affliction of same-sex desire.

The leadership team for Perry's day of prayer includes five members of the International House of Prayer (IHOP). IHOP's director, Mike Bickle, believes that Oprah Winfrey is the precursor to the Antichrist. You're close, Mr. Bickle, but you're not quite there yet. We do love your pancakes, though!

The day of prayer is also endorsed by C. Peter Wagner, who belives that the recent Japanese earthquake and tsunami were caused by a demon who had sex with the emperor of Japan. We are uncertain as to the truthfulness of Wagner's claims, but we do find it telling that Emperor Akihito has not responded to any of our emails regarding the matter.

Perry hasn't officially announced his candidacy yet, but we've got our fingers crossed! Or at least we would, if finger crossing were not a form of devil worship.

Oprah's Satanic Conspiracy

2011-07-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

First of all, we're proud to report that we're still making progress with our petition to bring back the Oprah Winfrey show in order to reawaken God's flock to her true danger. With any luck, we'll soon have the show back on the air, so that we can get it taken off again. However, it has come to our attention that some signers may be using fake names in order to turn our petition into some sort of joke. "Mike Hunt," "I. P. Freely," and "Anita Dick," whoever you really are, you should be ashamed of yourselves, and your crude comments have been removed from this site. We would like to thank Mr. Heywood Jablome for pointing out their prank--you're a true Christian, sir!

Sadly, many more readers continue to question the need for OprahTruth Ministries. "The show is over," they say. "She hasn't taken over the world. All Oprah ever did was interview celebrities and give away cars. What's the harm?"

Ah, but look at the company she keeps:

What's wrong with Beyoncé and Jay-Z, you may ask, other than the fact that they make secular young people's music? Take a look at this eye-opening documentary:

That's right--and this demonic Illuminati conspiracy is worldwide. Just look at the images that permeate our pop culture:

That's why we're launching our new campaign to band together and battle the forces of Satanism--we're

Fighting to
Unify
Christ's
Kingdom

Because we give a F.U.C.K.!

If you're a concerned Christian willing to join our crusade, the best way you can help is by donating today--but please, no one dollar bills!

Bring Her Back!

2011-06-13T06:04:00.000-07:00

Wait. What did we just say? That's right, you heard us.

As we've mentioned before, our funds have been scarce ever since Oprah Antichrist Winfrey announced that this season would be the last for her show. Never mind that her minion Dr. Oz is taking her place or that she now has an entire network for spreading her filth. No, people saw that it was the "Farewell Season" and figured that was that. (I suppose you believed in Cher's Farewell Tour, too?)

Well, the last episode aired on May 25th, and now donations have dribbled down to nothing. We're having to work overtime at the adult bookstore (and we're starting to get suspicious that it may be more than just a store that sells highbrow literature for adults).

It seems to only way to make people realize what a true danger the Antichrist poses is to keep her on the air. That's why we're asking folks to sign the following:

Petition to Bring Back the Oprah Winfrey Show So We Can Take It off the Air Again

To: Television

We the undersigned ask that you bring Oprah Winfrey, Antichrist, with all of her makeovers and free car giveaways and bogus health advice, back to her usual time slot, so that the world might know true evil once again and make with the love offerings.

Sincerely,

OprahTruth Ministries and Friends

Use the comment field to sign, and pass this along to your Godly friends! And spread the news on Twitter!

If God Didn't Want Us to Eat Meat, He Wouldn't Have Made It out of Animals

2011-02-02T18:29:00.000-08:00

In her latest affront to Our Lord, yesterday Oprah kicked off her Vegan Challenge, openly flaunting Genesis 1:26-28, where man is given dominion over animals.

Fight back now! Here once again is our recipe for Deep-Fried Ham Balls:

8 oz, ham minced
2 scallions, minced
3 eggs, beaten
4 slices Wonder bread crumbs
2 T. flour
½ cup crumbled bacon
2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. dry mustard
Oil for deep-frying
Mix all ingredients. Shape into walnut-size balls. Deep fry until golden brown and serve with cheesy ranch dipping sauce (1 C Cheez Whiz mixed with 1 C Ranch dressing).

Our OWN Problem--And Yours

2011-01-20T18:17:00.000-08:00

Friends, we are still here!

So why the hiatus, you ask? Did we go on another country ham bender?

Sadly, no. We've had to scale back our operations due to lack of funds. Our country's economic crisis (brought on by O'Bama's job-killing health care law act)is partly to blame. Additionally, we've experienced a sharp decrease in love offerings following the Antichrist's announcement that this will be the last season of her wicked television program. Folks heard about this and apparently decided that our ministry was no longer needed. Didn't we win the battle? Without her show, the Black and Angry One is no longer a threat, right?

Wrong.

It seems one show just wasn't enough for her. The next phase of her plan for world domination includes getting her own network, so she can fill our children's minds
with filth 24/7. We haven't given up hope, though. With help from our loyal flock, we can still win back our nation's airwaves for the Lord.

In the meantime, though, we've had to take on part-time jobs to pay the bills--anointing oil and fryolators aren't free. We're now working at a charming bookstore, one that only carries serious books for adults. But never fear--we'll still be checking in as often as possible.

Praise the Lord!

Keep "Banned Books" in "Banned Books Week"!

2009-09-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

As our loyal readers know, we here at OprahTruth Ministries have been busy celebrating Banned Books Week. More specifically, we've been using it to launch our new LibraryTruth Project, an effort to rid our public libraries of Oprah's Book Club filth. Upon closer inspection of the Banned Books Week website, however, we have discovered that most of the events they've planned for this week are in fact against banning books. When did this secular war on Banned Books Week start? I guess it just goes to show that you can't always take a website at face value. It's sad, though, to see the extent to which unsaved liberals have infiltrated our culture--they snap their fingers and suddenly dozens of library science majors around the country are making bulletin boards! Who will protect our children in all of this?

It's not a total waste, though--our mission remains the same. We still remember the reason for the season!!!

Oprah's Book Club Goes after Our Kids!

2009-09-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

Luke 18:16 Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

We here at the LibraryTruth Project are pleased to announce that we have had an enormously successful Banned Books Week so far, and we still hope to cleanse as many libraries as possible by the end of the week! Unfortunately, completely ridding our taxpayer-funded libraries of Oprah's Book Club is a much larger undertaking, as her lies reach far and wide--she's even targeting innocent children!

What kind of filth is the Antichrist pushing on our kids? How about Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, a charming little tale that teaches children that it's all right to dabble in magic and demon worship, that it's fun and educational to communicate with the undead, that ghosts and werewolves and British people are fine and dandy. Is this what you want your children reading?

If not, there are two ways to take our country back: a) homeschool your kids, and b) donate to the LibraryTruth Project today!

Say You're NOT One of Them!

2009-09-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

Banned Books Week begins today! (Could starting a week on Saturday be another assault on the Christian calendar? We wouldn't put anything past secular liberals!) That means it's the perfect time to join the LibraryTruth Project and help remove Oprah's lies from taxpayer-supported public libraries.

The Antichrist recently announced her latest infernal book club selection: Uwem Akpan's Say You're One of Them. In case the author's demonic-sounding name isn't enough to scare you away, just look at the first story, "An Ex-Mas Feast." The word "X-mas" is, of course, a product of the secular war on Christmas, which plays right into Oprah's hands. Don't be deceived--join the fight today!

Home Schooling--One Step Further!

2009-09-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Christian warrior Kirk Cameron recently produced a documentary which reveals some troubling statistics: Did you know that in our nation's top 50 colleges and universities, over 54 percent of professors surveyed said they would describe themselves as atheists or agnostics? Additionally, 37 percent responded that they were Buddhist, 12 percent Wiccan, and the remaining 24 percent of the people responsible for educating tomorrow's leaders are in fact Muslims who worship Barack Obama. Fact. Given the ivory tower's loopy worldview, it's no wonder academics are so quick to accept Darwin's "theory" of evolution (a doctrine Oprah promotes heavily among her followers).

What are Christian families to do? Should we deny our children the opportunities that a college degree affords them? Or should we send them off to be brainwashed by pot-smoking atheist sodomites?

Here's a suggestion--since homeschooling is so effective in raising Godly children, why not continue homeschooling your adult children? Write today for an official OprahTruth Ministries "Professor Mom" Home University kit! It comes with a King James Bible, a year's supply of Ramen noodles, and a pack of college-ruled notebook paper--a $99 value, for only $69! With our kit, you'll learn how to talk to your children about serious intellectual questions. Order today and receive a free poster of Mr. Cameron, suitable for framing!

"Train up a child in the way he should go..." Proverbs 22:6

2009-09-19T20:33:00.001-07:00

Obama's mass brainwashing of public school students is just the latest liberal attempt at making our children ripe for demon possession. Every day, millions of innocent children are told that prayer is against the rules, that homosexuality is fine and dandy "as long as they love each other," that humans come from some sort of chimp that crawled out of the swamp in the year 1,000,000 B.J. Private school students and children who are homeschooled are the only ones who ever get a chance to learn the truth. Of course, people like Oprah trivialize the concept of home schooling, because they're afraid of what could happen if we all started taking our responsibilities as parents seriously. Protect your children from public school indoctrination!

Open House a Great Success!

2009-09-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all who came out to the OprahTruth Ministries Open House! It was a damp September evening, but we kept warm by the light of the fire. It was a wonderful evening of fellowship and deep-fried ham balls!

A New Strategy for Truth

2009-09-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

We have been asking our friends to pray for OprahTruth Ministries in how we can bring our message to a larger portion of Oprah's brainwashed minions. As you know, in addition to reading this blog, you can now follow us on Twitter. But a vision of a new, bold campaign has been given to one of our prayer warriors and we need your support.

The Leaders of OprahTruth Ministries are going to pursue a LIVE appearance on Oprah's talk show to confront Antichrist face-to-face. Her website lists the following "hot topics" for upcoming shows:

Do you find motherhood difficult?
Are you the world's BIGGEST Garage Sale Queen?
Do you want a nutrition makeover?
Are You On The Brink Of Divorce?
Do You Want an Easy Eco-Makeover?
Do you need to lose 100 pounds or more?

While we don't want to be deceptive, we also know the cowardly nature of the Antichrist, and she will certainly not face us intentionally. So, in an effort to get the feet of truth in the door, we ask you to pray about how we should approach one of the above topics. Difficult motherhood? Garage Sale Queen? Nutrition makeover? Divorce? Eco-Makeover (we aren't actually sure what this is)? 100 pounds overweight? Whatever we choose, we feel confident we can approach it from an upstanding, spiritual angle. Then, once cozily lounging on the couch of the Beast, we will douse her with the truth and see what happens.

Let us know what you think!

The ABCs of the PC

2009-09-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

While our new LibraryTruth Project is primarily dedicated to fighting the secular/New Age influence of Oprah's Book Club, we stand against all forms of brainwashing carried out in the name of "education." And today I want to talk about an issue that we feel especially strong about.

Do this right now: Go and take a look at your child's world history textbook. Now, if your child is home-schooled or attends Christian private school, that textbook begins in the logical place, with the Garden of Eden. If, however, God has not blessed you with enough money for private education (and if this is the case, you should pray to the Lord now about what you have done to displease Him), your child is being taught something very different.

Do you notice these three letters--"B.C.E."--anywhere? It stands for "Before the Common Era," and it's just one more way that liberals have found of taking God out of our schools. Apparently it's so painful for them to think about our Lord Jesus Christ that they can no longer bring themselves to say "B.C."

How can we fight back? We at the LibraryTruth Project suggest writing to your local school board and telling them that you won't stand for seeing Jesus erased from history. And just for good measure, let's go one better than "Before Christ"--let's be specific about who the Christ, the Messiah is. We'll call those 4,000 years of history "Before Jesus." Make your voices heard! Tell the liberals in charge that you don't want to look in your child's publicly-funded textbooks and see a B.C.E. after every important date. And tell them you won't settle for a B.C. either. Demand a B.J. today!

LibraryTruth: What's Next?

2009-09-17T07:38:00.001-07:00

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Colossians 2:8

If you're starting your own library, all that matters is that you start with what you love.
Oprah

First of all, we'd like to say an "amen" for the love offerings that have poured in since we launched our LibraryTruth Project! (Note: We are, unfortunately, unable to use Confederate money donations at this time, but we still send thanks to our readers in Alabama.)Because of your generosity, our TruthBurners© are well on their way to getting Eckhart Tolle's Satanic tracts out of our libraries. So what now?

Our next target is David Wroblewski's The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. This novel has been described as "a riveting family saga as well as a brilliant exploration of the limits of language." What's wrong with it, you may ask, other than the author's funny foreign name? Well, take a look at Wroblewski's bio: David Wroblewski grew up in rural Wisconsin, not far from the Chequamegon National Forest where The Story of Edgar Sawtelle is set. He earned his master's degree from the Warren Wilson MFA Program for Writers and now lives in Colorado with his partner, the writer Kimberly McClintock, and their dog, Lola.

His partner?

Apparently our society has become so blase about fornication that folks like Wroblewski feel comfortable admitting it to the whole world, right there on the internet. And it's no wonder Oprah would select an author like him for her club, considering her own assault on traditional marriage.

What are you going to do the next time you take your children to the library, and they see books like Edgar Sawtelle on the shelf? What are you going to do when they ask, "Mommy, if I live in sin, can I become a famous writer, too?"

Banned Books Week starts September 26--let's celebrate by banning Oprah's deviant propaganda!

Oprah's Brainwashed Disciples

2009-09-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

Still think Oprah isn't peddling her own religion? Watch her audience as they pray to their false idol:

Join the Cause!

2009-09-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Do you want your children reading about adultery and suicide? How about witchcraft? Or stream of consciousness? More importantly, do you want your tax dollars to pay for it?

That's why we've created the LibraryTruth Project, a nationwide effort to remove Oprah's book club books from our taxpayer-supported public libraries. We're starting with Eckhart Tolle's satanic manifesto, A New Earth. Our goal is to get it out of every library in the U.S. by the end of September. How can you help?

1) DONATE to the LibraryTruth Project*
2) VOLUNTEER as a TruthBurner© in your area
3) FOLLOW our tweets on Twitter #LTP

Help fight the Antichrist!

*Thanks to persecution we are facing under our socialist government, we are unable to officially solicit donations. So for now, make checks payable to the "American Library Association."

The Antichrist Glass Ceiling

2009-09-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

We can't tell you how often we receive comments like this one:

The black and angry one is not the antichrist.

instead, it is President barack Obama.

Or this one:

The Rev. Jerry Falwell says the Antichrist is probably alive today and is a male Jew.

Everyone is sure convinced that the Antichrist couldn't possibly be a woman--but why not? We've already explained it once, but we'll explain it again; there is no reason that the Antichrist should have to be male. As Judith Butler writes, "There is no gender identity behind the expressions of gender; ... identity is performatively constituted by the very 'expressions' that are said to be its results" (Gender Trouble 25). We know who the Antichrist is--she is woman, hear her roar!

WE Believe That JESUS Is Our Future!

2009-09-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

Oprah's 24th season kicks off tomorrow, September 14th, and what does she have planned? Glorifying crackheads, of course. So now our kids can spend all day at school learning socialism from Obama, then come home in time for Oprah's pro-drug, pro-celebrity worship, anti-Jesus hour.

We plan to spend tomorrow praying for America, from the fallout shelter beneath OprahTruth headquarters. If you care about what the antichrist is doing to this great nation, won't you pray along with us?

Father God,

We are under attack.
Our senses are tempted by book club page-turners and Rachel Ray's goodies.
We are told that Dr. Oz can heal our bodies and Dr. Phil our minds--
but what about our souls?
Protect us, O Lord, from the lies of the antichrist!
Protect us from Oprah and her servant Obama!
We don't need her "favorite things" or other earthly treasures, only Heavenly treasures!

We pray in Jesus' name,

AMEN

Please forward this prayer to all your Christian friends!!!

OprahTruth @our readers--look what's new!

2009-09-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

As part of our continuing efforts to reach more and more folks with the truth, we are now "tweaking," as they call it, on twitter.com! Come and tweak along with us!

When the Antichrist Goes to Sleep at Night, She Checks Her Closet for Chuck Norris

2009-09-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today our thanks go out to the dedicated reader who forwarded us this editorial by none other than Chuck Norris. That's right, Walter, Texas Ranger himself! Who can forget him in Forest Gump Warrior or Fire Walker with Me? And he's got Oprah's number! Norris explains how Oprah's brand of religion "only quotes relatively benign sayings of Jesus, avoiding the more difficult ones."

Well said! All anyone wants to hear today is that wishy-washy "love thy neighbor" nonsense. But no one wants to hear that they can't steal or commit adultery or make graven images. Norris supports the National Council on Bible Curriculuum in Public Schools, an organization that promotes decent Christian values

We salute you, Lone Wolf McDuck--keep fighting the good fight!

Peace is for Pansies!

2009-09-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

We weren't surprised to find this namby-pamby claptrap from Oprah's feel-good spiritual guru, Marianne Williamson. Williamson mocks our national day of mourning by offering the following "prayer": Dear God, please work a miracle among us. Turn fear into love, war into peace, the forces of death into the forces of eternal life. And so it is. Amen.

What part of Matthew 10:34 does Williamson not understand? Jesus says, "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword."

We feel that America has forgotten the Lord's precious message of violence. That's why the theme of this year's open house will be "Never, Ever, EVER Forget." Entertainment will be provided by a local Christian hardcore band--a delightful group of young people who'll get us all pumped up for the book/effigy burning and weenie roast. We'll have food, fellowship, and fun!

We See Who Oprah Prays To

2009-09-04T20:39:00.001-07:00

Good News for Godly Women!

2009-09-04T19:24:00.000-07:00

It's not always easy keeping up with the latest technology fads, like cell phones and "mp3" players and friendster.com (and some of those are most likely tools of the beast). Many of you have written in since we first announced our new self-help series, Slavery Is Freedom! Practical Advice on How to Be a Fulfilled, Godly Woman, available in a CD box set for only $39.95. "But wait!" you said. "What if we don't have a CD player?" Well, now you're in luck! Slavery Is Freedom is now available on cassette tapes for the same crazy low price, so get out your boom box and let the obedience begin!

This is FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!*

2009-06-30T20:34:00.001-07:00

¯`'•.¸(¯`'•. ¸*++++*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)
+(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸*++*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)+
++(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸**¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´ ¯)++
~~~~~RESIST the Evil One!!!!!!~~~~~
(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*++++*`'•.¸_)`'• .¸_)
+(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*++*`'•.¸_)`'•. ¸_)+

*An actual O magazine cover, enhanced with Photoshop

To the Naysayers out There

2009-06-28T19:40:00.001-07:00

I recently came across the following on answers.com:

"no Oprah is not the antichrist because of these reasons. First it is because Christ was a man so the antichrist has to be a man. The antichrist also needs to perform miracles to make others beleive that he is not the anticrist. The Antichrist must have great power in authority. He will also have great power from the devil but he will claim it to be god's. The Antichrist must also be related to Israel. Obviously, he's already here... Barack Hussien Obama is all of those. He's a male, he's the president of the United States of America, he's an atheist who said he 'appreciates' prayers & yet he says "we need to be above religon", & he was actually born in Kenya, which is south of Jerusalem. In the Bible, it is said that the antichrist will also be the 'King of the South.'"

This is just another good example of how you can't believe something just because some anonymous person writes it. The only source of absolute truth is the King James Bible, not some website claiming to have "answers." Although we certainly agree that Obama is a threat, he's no Antichrist. First of all, the Antichrist is not the same person as the King of the South, so get your facts straight. Also, we all know that the Antichrist will be associated with the number 666. Check this out: If you assign a numerical value to each letter of the name "Oprah Winfrey," with "a" being 1, "b" 2, etc., then add them together, you get 157. Multiply that by 2, the number of grades she skipped in elementary school, and you get 312. Subtract that from 1986, the year her television program first aired, and (are you getting chills yet?) that makes 1674. Finally, subtract 1008, the number of pages in our copy of War and Peace, which is by Leo Tolstoy, who also wrote Anna Karenina, a 2004 Oprah's book club selection. That gives you 666!!! A fact like that can't be explained as mere coincidence, friends. And finally...the Antichrist has to be a man because Christ was a man?

If you take the time to do some serious research, you'll find that the Antichrist will be the opposite of Christ. Since Jesus was a white man, then doesn't the Antichrist have to be a black woman?

Let this be a reminder--only trust reliable sources!

Oprah's False Religion

2009-06-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, Oprah is up to her usual tricks. This week, an article on Oprah.com offers the following drivel to her mindless followers:

According to spiritual coach Cheryl Richardson, grace is a divine energy or spiritual intelligence that comes from a divine source. "Some people call it 'God,' 'Jesus,' 'spirit,' 'the universe,' 'a higher power'—whatever it is, wherever you are in your path, that's your prerogative in terms of what you call it," Cheryl says. "This beautiful energy is available to each and every one of us, regardless of whether you believe it or not, as well."

BE WARNED: "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." 1 John 4:1

Folks, you can't just go around higglety-pigglety calling everything "God." Oprah is trying to preach the heretical idea that divine love is available to everyone equally--regardless of belief. But we know the TRUTH: that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the one true and loving God, and anyone who says otherwise will burn to a crisp.

When your mind is "open" and working like a parachute, you're in a downward motion toward HELL! There's nothing new about Oprah's New Age foolishness. It's just another name for demon possession.

¯`'•.¸(¯`'•. ¸*♥♥♥♥*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)
♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸*♥♥*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)♥
♥♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸**¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´ ¯)♥♥
~~~~~JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!~~~~~
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♥(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♥♥*`'•.¸_)`'•. ¸_)♥

Free Sample from Our New Self-Help Series!

2009-06-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Oprah's aggressive brand of feminism has produced nothing but suffering families and a corrupt culture. That's why we created Slavery Is Freedom! Practical Advice on How to Be a Fulfilled, Godly Woman. This sermon series explains everything a woman needs to know about maintaining a healthy Christian marriage--in simple, easy-to-understand language.

Here's a taste:

Being a Godly Woman© is more than merely keeping a spotless house, raising little angels, and catering to your man's every whim--although these are all important things, too. But since our actions stem from our thoughts, the first thing a Godly Woman© must do is examine her mind.

Paul writes that we should be "casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Whatever does it mean to "take our thoughts into captivity"? Each and every day we have ever so many thoughts, and the Lord Jesus knows each one of them. These thoughts can either be ones that are pleasing to Him--like planning that lemon raspberry pound cake you're going to bake for the church fundraiser--or displeasing to Him--like the thoughts produced by watching Gilmore Girls and other racy television shows. As Christian Ladies©, it is our responsibility to “examine everything” (1 Thessalonians 5:21) to find which of these areas our thoughts fall into. Is it a thought that is in accordance with Scripture? Is it contrary to it? Or is it a ‘neutral’ thought? If it falls into anything but the first category, it must be suppressed!

But how can you keep all of that straight? Just remember to keep your thoughts Cheerful, Obedient, and Womanly--or C.O.W.! Cheerful thoughts make you pleasant to be around--no one likes a whiner! Obedience is the most important virtue a woman can possess. And be sure to stay focused on womanly matters; fretting over politics or current events will only give you wrinkles!

So the next time you're troubled by a thought of some sort, examine it carefully. You can keep those thoughts in check, as long as you're a good C.O.W.!

Oprah's War on the Family

2009-06-26T14:16:00.001-07:00

Friends, it's no secret that the American family is under attack. Gay marriage is now legal in several states, and we can already see what that's doing to the sacred institution of marriage.

But the threat posed by the gays is, at least, out in the open. Lucifer and his demons also have more subtle--and therefore more dangerous--weapons at their disposal.

Now this may offend the delicate feelings of some out there who've been brainwashed by the PC media, but I'm going to go ahead and say it: God designed the family, and he did so without consulting Gloria Steinem or Hillary Clinton. That's right--our Lord put the man in charge, as Paul writes:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5:22-24

Let me emphasize that--in a healthy family, the wife is subject unto her husband in every thing.

Unfortunately--and this should come as no surprise--Oprah has a different view, one that she's passing on to her millions of devoted followers.

Oprah.com: Don't Be a Doormat!

Just what does Oprah consider a "doormat"? Here are a few examples:

*My "to do" list includes things I don't have to do, and things I don't want to do.

*I feel panicky about the thought of someone disliking or disapproving of me.

*I feel virtuous when I override my own needs or wishes to please others.

Why, what is Oprah's "doormat," but a Godly woman?

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Proverbs 31:10-15

Someone has got to save the family. That's why we at OprahTruth ministries are offering, for a limited time, this four-CD self-help series, Slavery is Freedom! Practical Advice on How to Be a Fulfilled, Godly Woman. In it, you'll find advice on a wide range of topics, including:

*How to anticipate your husband's needs and wants, before he asks

*How to spend the allowance he gives you more efficiently

*When to shut up

*Recipes, cleaning tips, and more!

I'd also like to thank everyone who has welcomed me since my recent release from prison. It is a blessing to be back with my family, and half of the proceeds from Slavery is Freedom will go towards covering my legal fees.

Mailbag

2009-06-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

_./'\._¸¸.•¤**¤•.¸.•¤**¤•..•¤ **¤ •.¸.•¤**¤•..
*•. .•* JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, THE LIFE.
/.•*•.\ ¸..•¤**¤•.,.•¤**¤•.*.•¤**¤•.¸¸ .•¤**¤•.

Here's where we answer more questions from dedicated readers!

Anonymous: Okay, this is just ridiculous. Don't you people have anything better to do? For one thing God makes it VERY clear that we cannot judge the hearts of man, only He can... If you don't know that maybe you should open it up and stop using Gods word to hurt others and take it in to your own life and use it to pin point your own hearts. This is upsetting that you are doing this to someone.. I do not agree with these tactics and what a poor example of the true love of God... If you don't agree with her fine.. you don't have to that's free choice that God gives us but I would bet to say that someone who is focusing so much of their attention on Oprah needs to maybe look inside and deal with their own life and maybe focus on things that really matter. You don't like the tv show? TURN IT OFF!!! I do not watch Oprah myself but I do not agree with the tactics you are using... I know deep down that you feel you are in the right.. but if we go by our feelings then we are led astray (that's in the Bible as well) Thats a HUGE accusation to put on someone and its loveless. If you truly have come into contact with the true living God - then why are you not on your knees and praying for the better for others and God's will to prosper? This is a huge mockery on what God really is and once again shows how man-made religion strips the worlds view of a God that is truly loving and merciful... its no wonder so many people are turned off by chrisitanity.. look at how we act! look at how we treat others! this is an ache for the ones out there who truly do care about others no matter what background they come from and what they choose.. remember how much God loved and still loves you in all your mistakes and human errors and how patient He is with you in all your ways? I agree with one blogger: I would say that this is being operated out of fear and remember: "Fear is not of God"

Dear Anonymous,
I'm sorry--who doesn't have anything better to do?

Anonymous: There is no such thing as Antichrist.
That you don't like Oprah is another issue by itself.

Dear Anonymous,
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist."
Soze 19:94

Anonymous: What a load of nonsense. I too am a Christian and what you are writing is not Christlike behaviour at all. You are tarnishing someones reputationn without any evidence at all, which is no better that a witch hunt of old. If you say you are Christian , beware of what you are doing to others. Christian paranio is the worst kind of beligerence.

Dear Anonymous,
If you know anything about those witch hunts, then you know how effective they were. The Puritans certainly would have known better than to dress innocent children up like instruments of Satan and send them to Barnes & Noble for a Harry Potter book release party! As to whether or not you're a true Christian, let's just hope for your sake that the Lord Jesus doesn't give spelling tests in Heaven!

Kasey Wagner: Hey, Susie! This is Kasey (Victoria's daughter). I can't decide which I like more - your blog or the comments left by the poor people who don't get it!

Dear Kasey,
I'm sure I have no idea what you mean. I pray that the Lord will expel the demons inside you.

Until next time!

Satire=Satan's Ire

2009-04-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

For the literally dozens of supporters who have written to ask why I haven't updated my satirical blog in the past few months, I am now ready to share the details of my painful journey. I now understand that saying one thing and meaning another is what SATAN does, not what Christians should do!

I created my "Atheism is Awesome!" blog as a Christian response to Anti-Spore, Landover Baptist, Chick.com, and other "Christian" websites that are actually satirically mocking our Lord. Although one thoughtful reader tried to warn me, I didn't realize that by masquerading as an unbeliever, I ran the risk of turning into one!

As with all of Satan's traps, it started out small. I was on my way to church, and I passed my local Starbucks. I had skipped my Sanka that morning, and while I normally make a point of not patronizing businesses that open on Sundays, I thought, "If I'm going to write in the voice of a latte-sipping liberal secular humanist, shouldn't I familiarize myself with what a latte tastes like? So I went in.

What happened next is a blur... You've heard about how drug dealers always give you the first hit free? Well, it's absolutely true! I walked into that store, and right away a young girl in a green smock handed me a sample-sized Triple Mint Mocha Hazelnut Crème Brûlée Frappucino Blast© with caramel syrup. I took a sip. It was...not Sanka! Immediately, it was like a demon had crawled into my mouth and laid its eggs in my brain. All I could think about was getting more!!!

I walked up to the counter and ordered a Venti, and when she asked if I wanted an extra shot, I laughed, like someone else was actually laughing through me, and replied, "Why not two?" I drank the whole think in one gulp and ordered another! I was out of my mind on the magic beans.

I looked at my watch and realized that it was already a quarter past eleven. Now, some still small part of me knew that I was headed down a dangerous path, even though the demon was in control. But to rationalize it to my conscience, I told myself, "I don't want to cause a disruption by going to church late. What if I just continue the charade and spend the entire day as my atheist character? Then I can really expose their folly--now that's good satire!"

That's when the spree began. I ran outside and, spotting some fraternity boys, called out, "I am an unbelieving Jezebel! Who would like to fornicate with me?" Our Lord Jesus was surely protecting me, as there were no takers.

That didn't slow me down, though. I stripped off my denim jumper and ran naked through the streets, shouting, "All hail Oprah! Praise her servant Obama!" A police officer noticed me and started chasing me on his bicycle. I eluded him by ducking into the Adult XXX Superstore, where I disguised myself as a sexy cavewoman. That was when I realized where my evil master was leading me--the Natural History Museum.

Whatever happened next, I have, thankfully, repressed. I know that I was found at around noon, passed out in a compromising position with a statue of Cro-Magnon man.

I am still in prison for breaking and entering, indecent exposure, and the theft of a vibrating T-Rex marital aid. Brothers and Sisters, I urge you to learn from my mistakes. In the name of Our Lord, stay away from satire!!!!

Oprah's Full Power Realized

2008-11-06T18:59:00.000-08:00

Well, this week the world has seen just exactly how much power the Antichrist has, what she is capable of. This week has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt the level of influence she has over our nation. We've known this was coming for some time. We've seen the TV endorsements. But I'll confess that it still came as a shock:

Oprah on 30 Rock

More Evidence Looms: Oprah = Satan

2008-11-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

As if there weren’t enough evidence showing that Oprah wants us all desperately to follow her to Hell, she boldly published a list of “The Top 20 Things Oprah Knows For Sure” in her online magazine this month. Not only is her confidence suspect, but her second entry—second!—is “You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.” Funny, Oprah, I thought Jesus defined my life. I thought the Bible was my script. And as if that weren’t enough, she goes on to place “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time” at number four. We all know that Jesus, our Lord, said, "Take heed that no man lead you astray. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am the Christ; and shall lead many astray" (Matthew 24:4,5). If we have it Oprah’s way, we’ll all be welcoming Satan into our hearts the first time he appears to us, no questions asked. Well not this girl, Oprah! Not this time.

It is our duty to Jesus, our only Lord and savior, to question these ridiculous Oprah-isms lest we wind up as one of the damned http://www.officialdamned.com/. I have faith that we can unite and fight this demon!

Open House!

2008-09-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

We're pleased to announce that OprahTruth Ministries will be hosting its annual cookout and book burning this Friday, September 26. We'll be serving up our famous deep-fried ham balls with cheesy ranch dipping sauce and "partying down" to a local DC Talk cover band. This event will be held at our secret headquarters in Florida--the Lord will provide the faithful with directions.

Attention Blasphemous Readers

2008-09-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

I will have all readers know that OprahTruth Ministries will not be undermined by IGNORANT people who leave comments ANONYMOUSLY on our blog in attempts to sabotage our mission. Rather than disable the anonymous commenting feature, we will hit you head on.

Deborah writes:

DEAR MS. WINFREY,

I WAS GLADENED TO HEAR OF YOUR RECOVERY FROM THE LIFE THREATENING CONDITION YOU SUFFERED LAST WEEK. IT WAS WONDERFUL WHEN DR. OZ WAS ABLE TO CURE YOU OF YOUR THYROID PROBLEMS, BUT NOW THAT YOU HAVE THE SECRET YOU CAN WILL YOURSELF BACK TO HEALTH ON YOUR OWN. WHY WON'T THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE SECRET?

I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR SPEEDY RETURN TO THE TV SO YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT BOOK TO READ NEXT.

YOUR IN CHRIST,
DEBORAH

Dear Deborah,

First of all, don't think for a second that we cannot see through your sarcasm. If you wish to be satirical, you should really learn to be more subtle and serious to gain credibility. Next, learn to spell "gladdened" and don't be so careless as to forget the "s" at the end of "yours" in your smug salutation. But it's interesting you choose the so very clever name of "Dr. Oz" because, just like the fictional wizard, once you take Oprah's Satan-granted power away, she is nothing but a sniveling coward behind a curtain. If she only had a heart.

So please, Deborah, your oh so clever wittiness does not intimidate us. However, your references to prayer and Christ are deeply offensive, and you have henceforth been added to the OprahTruth ministries prayer chain.

Is Oprah Dead?

2008-09-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

You can imagine our surprise at reading the numerous messages circulating the web today, all proclaiming that Oprah Winfrey is dead. So is it true? Sadly, it's a hoax.

We're not sure what kind of twisted soul would start a fictional blog about Oprah just to fool people--perhaps this rumor was even created by her own minions, in the hopes that OprahTruth Ministries would let down its guard. But be assured, the Antichrist still walks among us.

And now for some reader responses:

Anonymous writes:
Dear sir,
I demand that you remove this garbage immediately! It is not funny! Oprah was a kind and spiritual woman who helped many unfortunate poeple both in America and abroad. Why do you feel the need to tarnish her memory with these lies? Do you have no concern for the feelings of those still greiving Oprah's passing? Have you considered how Gail or Stedman would feel if they came across these hateful words? You need to go on Dr. Phil and let him help you because you are obviously sick and perverted! Do the right thing and shut down this abomination!

Dear madam,
No, there is nothing funny about our work here. We are engaging in spiritual warfare of the highest order. And while we have no way of knowing how Oprah's minions would feel about it, we hope that they might realize the error of their ways. As for Dr. Phil, I don't know why so many people go to that fat man for dieting advice, but the only explanation I can think of is that Satanic forces are at work there.

Anonymous writes:
HOW DARE U WRITE THESE HORIBLE THINGS ABOUT OPRAH SO SOON AFTER SHE PASSED AWAY? DONT U HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR HER FAMILY AND LOVED ONES AND FOR THEIR LOSS? WHY MUST U SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD? THIS IS SICKENING ME!!!!! U SHOULD BE A SHAMED!

No, U should be ashamed, for following the Antichrist and for ignoring your English teachers. Thanks for reading!

In closing, don't believe everything you read on the internet. Always get your information from a reliable source.

The Prostitute

2008-09-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

In this bizarre back and forthing, it appears that Oprah has now said that she would "love to have her (Sarah Palin) on her show after the election." This public display of affection enforces my theory that Oprah's true agenda is not to support the candidate she believes in, but to get her Satanic claws into all possible rulers of this country so that she can influence them once in office. (It would have been great for her if Mitt Romney had been nominated.) But here at OprahTruth Ministries, we believe that Sarah Palin may be more than just a misguided lipstick-wearing pitbull (another similarity to Oprah) - she may be the prostitute.

It is written:

Then the angel said to me, "The waters you saw, where the prostitute sits, are peoples, multitudes, nations and languages. The beast and the ten horns you saw will hate the prostitute. They will bring her to ruin and leave her naked; they will eat her flesh and burn her with fire.

Friends, it could be argued that Sarah Palin has simply slipped under the spell of the beast, that her spiritual defenses have failed her in her effort to befriend Oprah, and now Oprah has responded with this invitation of her own. But while you are lounging around in your PJs drinking coffee, watching General Hospital, and reading Yahoo OMG! waiting for Oprah to appear on your TV to bestow feel-good womanly wisdom, you must understand the darkness underneath.

Forget about voting for Sarah. We must start a campaign to save her. And her five beautiful children.

Hold the Phone!

2008-09-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

We may have been too hasty in printing up those 10,000 "OprahTruth for Palin" T-shirts we ordered two weeks ago, in light of this breaking news from Townhall.com:

Sarah Palin welcomes Oprah to Alaska
Posted by GeorgeBruno on Monday, September 15, 2008 10:49:10 PM
Says Sarah Palin:
"...Alaska would welcome Oprah up here. She'd love it. The fresh clean air, the invigorating atmosphere. We'd love to have Oprah come up for a stay..."

We here at OprahTruth ministries have no idea what to make of this. What kind of Godly woman would invite the Antichrist into her home? Unless she plans to kill and field dress Oprah (which our lawyers inform us we cannot openly endorse, even using euphemisms, code words, or Pig Latin), we must withdraw our support for McCain/Palin.

Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Satire?

2008-09-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, this whole Anti-Spore hoax has really thrown us for a loop. Not only do these people mock our faith, they gloat about those of us who actually believed they were on the side of truth.

So now we're looking hard at some of our favorite sites, to make sure we're not being taken in again. The main giveaway as to whether something is satire or not seems to be that they either take things to an extreme or present things that clearly contradict their supposed "message." Landover Baptist, for example appears at first glance to be an ordinary church website (and in fact we've been sending them donations for years), but upon closer inspection, we have noticed that their gift shop sells T-shirts that say "Witch" and "Infidel." Who would even wear such a thing? And we're going to have to stop forwarding our cousins this so-called "news item" from The Onion about the dangers of Harry Potter. Although everything they say is spot-on in our opinion, it turns out they mean it "ironically." The sick minds behind Jack Chick tracts are particularly sneaky. It's a somewhat clever parody, if you don't read carefully, but do they really expect us to believe that this nonsense is for real? Nice try, Jack (if that is your real name!).

There are still a few sources we can trust, though, like Objective: Ministries and the righteous Fred Phelps. But we've also been wondering, to paraphrase Larry Norman, why should the devil have all the good satire? We've decided to fight back with a joke blog of our own:

Atheism is Awesome!

We think it'll wipe some smug grins off some faces. Enjoy!

Correction

2008-09-12T10:05:00.001-07:00

We here at OprahTruth Ministries are saddened to discover that AntiSpore.com is in fact not a righteous weapon for truth, but what they call "satire":

Anti-Spore Website Was a Hoax

I don't know what kind of person thinks that making fun of True Believers is amusing, but beware! Galations 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. We know what happens to those who mock God.

EA Spreads the Message of the Beast

2008-09-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

First of all, let's give an amen to our sister in Christ at AntiSpore.com, for bravely critiquing the secular world's latest attempt at brainwashing young minds (in the face of death threats from Satan himself).

EA Games has recently come out with Spore, video game that asks the blasphemous question, "How will you create the universe?" and encourages players to guide creatures through "five stages of evolution." Just listen to this poor confused girl as she falls for their anti-Creationist propaganda (at least they have the decency to note its unsuitability for children):

You may ask, why is it important if some people choose to believe in evolution? Don't some Christians even believe in it? Isn't it possible that evolution just describes how God created the universe? Maybe those six days aren't literal days.

Well, that's exactly what Oprah wants you to think. Why? Because once we stop taking one part of the Bible literally, what's to stop us from writing off the whole thing? Maybe Balaam's talking donkey is just a metaphor, too. Or Elisha and the bears. And that whole, "Thou shalt not kill" thing? Just a suggestion.

Just look at this description of an incident on Oprah's show, courtesy of our friends at Answers in Genesis:

Oprah Winfrey, TV talk show hostess, asked her audience why homosexuals should not be allowed to marry one another. One man said something to the effect that 'it wasn't natural'. A woman then rose and gave her lengthy opinion which boiled down to: 'I just don't think it's right!' Most people, however, gave comments like, 'If they want to, what difference does it make?' or, 'Who's to say that it's wrong?'

Then Oprah came to one man who said (à la Ken Ham), 'If God had wanted man to marry man, He would have created Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve!' Most people in the audience booed, and Oprah responded incredulously, 'You don't believe that do you?' The man, apparently intimidated, shrugged his shoulders and never carried his reasoning any further. In doing so he missed a great opportunity to promote the creation message on national television.

Actually, the thought underlying this man's statement is the only legitimate reason why homosexual practices are wrong. When there is any question concerning morality, one needs to see who declared something to be wrong in the first place. In effect, this Bible-believer was claiming that the absolute authority on homosexuality was the Bible — in this particular case Genesis. The reasoning goes: If God laid down the rule, then that settles the argument once and for all. But if man made the rule, then man has the prerogative to change it.

Once we stop believing in the Bible as the literal word of God, Oprah--and the Steves of the world--take over!

Questions / Comments from Our Readers

2008-08-05T16:10:00.000-07:00

Re: "Oprah: In League with Osama?" Anonymous writes--

"Jesus likes winners"?What does that mean?Isn't he supposed to LOVE (not just like) everyone?And what does Capitalism have to do with God, at all? You rednecks do not even try anymore; you use the bible and Jesus to shamelessly push your political agenda and don't even try to disguise it. Jesus is NOT a member of the National Republican Committee, he was not and is not into politics and if anything, he was a socialist, not a bigot from the American south.

Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry, but I believe you misunderstood--that's "winners," not "whiners." And while I can see how Our Lord's crazy long hair and sandals might confuse you, He was most certainly not a socialist. Take, for example, Matthew 26:11, in which the disciples complain about the woman of Bethany spending money on precious ointment to pour on Christ's head when the money for it could have been given to the poor. Jesus says, "For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always." In other words, "Forget the poor--I need something for my split ends!" Does that sound like a pinko to you?

Re: "Oprah: In League with Osama?" fuckyouamerica writes--

It saddens me that America is so full of ignorant cunts like all of you. Open your damn eyes, respect others' beliefs. Oh well, your own nation to fuck up. Please continue killing each other, do us all a favour.

Dear fuckyouamerica,

I like your gumption. In today's PC world, too many folks treat violence like a bad thing, as if it were sex or something. But the Bible teaches us that killing can be a glorious thing. As I like to tell the kids, "Stabby-ness is next to Godliness."

Re: "Don't Even Get Us Started on Anagrams!" Anonymous writes--

um..hi..you know the bible you're into? that was originally written in aramaic (early version of hebrew) then hebrew..THEN greek..then latin..then english.

aramaic and herbrew are both read right to left.

Dear Anonymous,

I don't know what kind of propaganda the public schools have fed you, but the only true Bible is the King James Bible, written in English, God's favorite language.

Re: "The Big Lie" Anonymous writes--

So you base your entire position that Oprah is the Antichrist on the sole argument that she is sucessful and makes a lot of money?That's all you have?Why aren't the Google guys the antichrist?They have WAY MORE MONEY than Oprah, and they made it in a fraction of the time; and way more people use google all over the world than any Oprah product(I love google by the way). Why isn't Donald Trump the AC?Because he is a republican?. It is so obvious that you are a typical redneck from the American South who hates any succesful black person, you don't even bother to hide it.

Dear Anonymous,

I'm not sure where everyone gets this idea that we're from the American South. OprahTruth Ministries is based in Florida, not the South. And we are by no means resentful of successful people of color--in fact, we have many black friends.

Re: "The Big Lie" the Owl writes--

STAY OFF THE CRACK PIPE PEOPLE!

Dear Owl,

Yes, that's wonderful advice. Drugs are destroying our society. Thanks for reading!

Re: "Spare Us, Oprah!" jess_hors writes--

hello, you are all complete fuckheads and are just afraid because it is a strong, black woman who is successful and has influence.

Why don't you fucking take some action on that PRESIDENT of yours who is KILLING your nation each and every day?

YOu people disgust me

Dear jess_whores,

You want to talk about disgust? We have just been alerted to the fact that a man in Great Britain is actually advocating the eating of human babies. That's right--tiny little babies. I'd say that's a lot more shocking than the actions of our nation's President, wouldn't you?

Don't Be Miracle-Whipped!

2008-08-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

Second Thessalonians 2:8-10 KJV. And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming: Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved.

Hello, faithful friends--

First, our apologies for the long silence. Since last November, we have been engaging in spiritual warfare, putting on the Full Armor of God to battle the forces of Satan. It's been a harrowing ordeal, but we are stronger for it.

Our struggle began at the OprahTruth Ministries barbecue fundraiser, an annual event held each year. This past year, we raised over $34 to go towards cable lockboxes for underprivileged families, so that they can shield their children from Oprah's Big Give. Unfortunately, we also overindulged in spicy-honey-teriyaki-Cap'n Crunch-glazed ribs. It is not our place to question, but we do sometimes wonder why our Lord had to make the pig so tasty.

Soon it was Thanksgiving, bringing with it deep-fried turkey, deep-fried cranberry sauce, and deep-fried Twinkies (or as we call them in our family, Patriot Pies). And of course Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of the King of the Jews with country ham. To make a long story short, by January we found ourselves carrying around cans of Crisco to aid us in getting through doorways. And that is when we found ourselves being lured by the promises of the Evil One:

Our Father, in His wisdom, sometimes allows his followers to be tempted. Even Christ was taunted by Satan as he fasted in the desert for forty days. Our experience was not unlike His, only our Lord still could have looked good in a bathing suit in the midst of His trials. As Oprah's minions paraded around, waving their dsicarded Lane Bryant pantsuits aloft, we found ourselves asking, "Should we maybe buy a copy of The Best Life Diet?"

That's the power of the Antichrist, who tries to sway us with false miracles. But don't be fooled--she is a liar! ("Thyroid problem," my fanny.)

I'm proud to say that we remained strong. We resisted her ploy and instead lost our demon flab through the Gideon Diet. What's that, you ask? It's simple:

Breakfast: One Gideon Bible, toasted. Diet Coke.

Lunch: Gideon Bible sandwich. Diet Coke.

Dinner: Gideon New Testament on a bed of rice. Caffeine-free Diet Coke.

Dr. Phil may not endorse it, but it'll satisfy your spiritual hunger while helping you drop those pounds. For it is written: ...Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4 KJV

Hallelujah!

Spare us, Oprah!

2007-11-05T13:59:00.000-08:00

The Abuse Scandal at Oprah's South Africa school should come as a shock to no one. It is true that Proverbs 13:24 states, "He that spareth the rod, hateth his son: but he that loveth him, correcteth him betimes." But that refers to discipline coming from a loving, godly parent. Even today's heathen, liberal-run public schools are better than leaving your children with the Antichrist!

Oprah: In League with Osama?

2007-11-05T13:48:00.000-08:00

Here's an insightful article on How Oprah Ruined the Marathon. Why does this matter to us? Because it's not just about running--Oprah is destroying America's spirit of competition, the cornerstone of capitalism. God has a special plan for this nation, provided we continue to adhere to the Christian values laid out by our forefathers. Let's not let Oprah lead us astray. Don't just settle for dragging your sorry behind over the finish line--Jesus likes winners!

The Big Lie

2007-06-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

Oprah Tops Forbes' List of Power Players
By ERIN CARLSON, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Oprah Winfrey continues to take over the world. The media mogul is back on top of Forbes' annual "Celebrity 100 Power List," which ranks the rich and famous based on earnings and buzz.

Winfrey, who came in third last year, was the top money-maker with an estimated income of $260 million over the past 12 months. She last topped the list in 2005.

"The woman is making history every single year," said Lea Goldman, a Forbes associate editor who oversaw the list. "It's not as if she's sitting on her laurels enjoying the show."

Winfrey's Harpo Productions is a partner on celebrity chef Rachael Ray's popular syndicated daytime talk show, which debuted last September. Harpo is launching its first prime-time series, "Oprah's Big Give," a reality contest in which contestants compete in philanthropy, and Winfrey also produced the Broadway show "The Color Purple."

Friends, the signs are everywhere. Do you see them? Oprah would not be so wealthy if countless millions were not already under her spell. The worse news - the prime-time series. Now Oprah will have access to more millions. In addition to the brainless housewives who have nothing better to do than watch her show and eat ice cream, she now will get her evil clutches into the mindless working class, who will probably be drunk by the time her show airs, making them more susceptible to her deceptions. "The Big Give" is likely to elicit lots of tears, but not as many as Armageddon.

And, Rachel Ray? Antichrist is attempting to permeate every facet of our lives. I urge you, kill your television before it kills you.

Don't Even Get Us Started on Anagrams

2007-06-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

It is an established fact that backwards language is a favorite tool of Satan. When popular group ELO sings, "We'll see if eternal life is meant to be," played backwards the message is "For He is the nasty one - Christ, you're infernal." In Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven, the backwards lyrics say, "Satan is Lord," "I'll give you 6-6-6," "Jesus betrayed us," and "I sing because I live with Satan." And, of course, the words to the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" backwards are as follows:

Knurt ruoy edisni knuj taht lla?
Knuj taht lla htiw od 'nog uoy tahw?

We don't even want to know what that means.

So who else is fond of backwards words? You guessed it.

This phenomenon is more serious and more widespread than you may think, even affecting young children. Just take a look at this book of supposedly educational games,promoting activities such as a "Backwards Spelling Bee," sure to challenge even a "demon speller" [emphasis added].

Don't let your loved ones get drawn into the occult! Remember, godly people read from left to right only!

Those House Elves Won't Seem So Cute in HELL

2007-05-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

Exodus 22:18 Suffer not a witch to live.

Deuteronomy 18:10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.

Every day we hear how great those Harry Potter books are--So imaginative! So entertaining! And they're getting kids excited about reading--that's a wonderful thing, right? Yes, Satan can always package evil attractively.So it's no surprise who loves Harry Potter.

It is imperative that you shield your children from these books and movies in any way you can. Mark 9:47 teaches "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire." Hopefully it won't be necessary to gouge your children's eyes out, but should it come to that, remember that eternal damnation is infinitely worse than a few years of being called "Blinky" in school.

Revealing Her True Face

2007-04-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

Revelation 17:3, "So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns."

Kill Them With Kindness

2007-04-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

"When you get, give; when you learn, teach!" — Oprah

Hidden in the depths of the beast's online lair, I have found suggestions for how you too can use and improve your life. One way to do this: create a "kindness chain."

Do something nice for someone else, that's it! Encourage them to "pass it on" so the chain isn't broken.

Of course the recipe is simple. What are you supposed to pass on? Kindness? Let's see the next step.

Create a Kindness Journal to document your chain as it grows! On the inside cover of a notebook, write your name and address, and ask that the journal be returned to you when it is full. Write down your first good deed and give the journal to the person you did something nice for so they can do the same for someone else! This creates a great book of inspiring stories.

A great book of inspiring stories, as well as a list of names to be used at a later, more troublesome time.

Perform your good deeds in your community, at school, in the dorm or at work. You can choose one of your friends, a random acquaintance or a group of people.

The message - the more people you infect, the better.

Start as big or small as you like! Cookies, housecleaning, baby-sitting and even an e-Card audio greeting can make a great link in a Kindness Chain.

Masked as kindness, this list is suggesting the spread of Oprah love and worship. When you feed the meter of the poor quarterless person and they ask you to explain the motivation for your generosity, you will explain that it was Oprah, and her live-giving tips that helped you and will ultimately make the world a better place. You will feel good about yourself, but so do people with HIV who don't yet realize they are infected - they think they are celebrating "love" and spreading it to others, when really it is death disguised.

Don't become a victim or spread the disease. Just say no to Oprah. And kindness.

Housework: Just Another of Satan's Ploys

2007-03-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Oprah.com is full of housecleaning tips from Clean Sweep's Peter Walsh. (Note where he is called an "organizational guru"--how New Age can you get?)He lists ten ways of dealing with clutter (an obvious mockery of the Ten Commandments):

HOW TO KEEP YOUR HOUSE CLUTTER-FREE

1. Tackle messes one room at a time.
2. When you buy something new, practice the "in-out rule:" For every one new item, get rid of an old one.
3. Create intimacy in the master bedroom. Remember that improvements in one room can spread to the rest of the house.
4. Make cleaning up fun for your kids.
5. Create a vision for the room you're cleaning.
6. Teach your kids how to sort.
7. Use a hanger system to determine which clothes you wear most.
8. Ask yourself if you really need something. If you hesitate, you don't.
9. Establish a "magic triangle" in your kitchen between the stove, refrigerator and the sink. Keep the items you use most in that area.
10. Identify useful utensils with the cardboard box test.

Never mind the inherent dishonesty in this list. (Items 1 and 3 essentially say the same thing, as do 4 and 6. Couldn't he come up with ten things? And don't even get us started on whatever witchcraft is involved in a "magic triangle.")The real issue here is that housework is nothing but a worldly concern, as illustrated by the story of Mary and Martha.

Luke 10:38-42 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

When we focus on things not of the spirit, we miss out on the good part, the teachings of our Lord. This week, leave that bed unmade. Let the dirty dishes pile up. Let mold grow in the shower. Do it for Jesus.

Oprah's School: It Takes a Village to Brainwash a Child

2007-03-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

Mark 13:12 "Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against [their] parents, and shall cause them to be put to death."

We know from the Bible that the Antichrist will be even more anti-family than Hillary Clinton. In the end times, children will be turned against their parents, even allowing them to be put to death. How will this come about? First, they must be separated from their parents' teaching. It has been reported that students at Oprah's school in Johannesburg are only allowed visits from their parents once a month. That leaves plenty of time for them to be indoctrinated with all sorts of dangerous ideas. Oprah argues that her strict rules are there to "protect" the girls, but we must ask, protect them from what? From real danger, or from godly parenting?

Did You Really Think It Would Start With A Headstamp?

2007-03-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

"He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666" (Rev. 13:16-18).

So often we think of the "mark of the beast" as the number 666. While this phenomenon is sure to come, how do you suppose people will willingly accept this branding knowing this in advance? Have we all not seen The Omen and sworn we would never be marked like Damien? Certainly even unbelievers recoil at this blatant representation of evil.

A closer look at the scriptures reveals that the mark can also be "the name of the beast"; a closer look at Oprah's Boutique shows us how close she is. Here, "fans" of Oprah can willingly
purchase products displaying her name, her signature, her mark. Cleverly disguised in pajamas, baseball caps, and coffee mugs, unwitting millions are already marked, and Oprah has made her first move in penetrating the world's psyche and mesmerizing people with fashionable key chains and bath towels displaying her "logo."

Be on guard - The Oprah Winfrey Show Frosted Candle for $13.00 "will instantly create a warm and inviting atmosphere with this lovely white candle in a frosted glass holder. Features the elegant "O" logo on one side and the "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on the other, both in pretty blue-on-blue."

Is it pretty? Yes. Does it smell good? Absolutely. Does it BURN? You bet it does. Don't go down with it.

Toni Morrison Did Not Die for Your Sins

2007-03-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

We know that the Antichrist will hate the Bible:

Mark 4:15 "And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts."

It's no secret that Oprah loves books. But among the scores of books in her famed book club, what book is noticably absent? That's right--God's holy word is nowhere to be found, unless she thinks this counts. Is the one book with the key to salvation just not important enough? Was it more important for her millions of fans to read James Frey's lies than our Lord's truth?

Friends, The Book of Ruth can't compare to the book of Ruth. Where the Heart Is won't tell you how to let Jesus into your heart (and the movie was so-so). Instead of reading Fall on Your Knees, why not fall on your knees and pray for forgiveness today?

"See to it that you are not taken captive by hollow and deceptive philosophy that depends more on the teachings of this world than on Christ." Colossians 2:8

The Pope's No Dope

2007-03-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

Taken from BBC News:

"A leading conservative candidate to succeed Pope John Paul II has warned that the Antichrist foreseen in the Book of Revelations is already among us.

Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, 71, said that the modern Antichrist, identified in the Book of Revelation as a seven-headed beast, was most likely now disguised as a philanthropist supporting creeds like vegetarianism, animal rights or pacifism, or advocating dialogue with Orthodox or Anglican believers."

It is true that Cardinal Giacomo Biffi did not obtain the papacy, but we think he should have. He clearly has wisdom we all should heed. He did everything but actually say her name.

Peace--What Is It Good For?

2007-03-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

Daniel 8:23,25
"And in the latter time of their kingdom, when the transgressors are come to the full, a king of fierce countenance, and understanding dark sentences, shall stand up. And through his policy also he shall cause craft to prosper in his hand; and he shall magnify himself in his heart, and by peace shall destroy many: he shall also stand up against the Prince of princes; but he shall be broken without hand."

Matthew 10:34
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword."

Sweet Words of the Beast

2007-03-15T15:36:00.000-07:00

"Great and miraculous things happen when people come together with an intention to create hope and opportunity."

— Oprah

Friends, how we are fooled by language. Oprah uses these words to inspire and convert, and who wouldn't say, "wow, that sure sounds good. I could use some miracles in my miserable life." ?

But what does Oprah mean when she says things like this? What is "great and miraculous" to an agent of evil? Your deception. What people must "come together"? The followers of Oprah. What "hope and opportunity" does Oprah speak of? Only her own, to blind you into following her lies. Friends, this Pied Piper will only lead you to destruction.

Don't let the sweet words of the beast seduce you; you will have no excuse in the end, because she is saying EXACTLY what she means. It is you who are allowing yourself to be fooled. If you continue on this path of Oprah worship, you may want to create a bookmark here. You may need it.

Oprah's Lies: Full of Holes

2007-03-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

Revelation 13:1, "And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy."

Acupuncture is blasphemy and a gateway to the occult; any mystical cure--acupuncture, qi gong, laser surgery, etc.--that does not come from God can only come from Satan.

Denouncing Christ is So Gay

2007-03-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

One characteristic of the Antichrist is that he ("he" in the general sense of the word, of course)and his followers will eschew the opposite sex:

Daniel 11:37, "Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all."

The rise of homosexuality is just another step in the countdown towards Armageddon. And who's cheering the gay movement on?

You might be saying, "But isn't Oprah straight?" Sure, or at least that's what she claims. Although we still don't see a ring on Stedman's finger.

*If you or someone you know is afflicted with the sin of homosexuality, don't despair--help is available.

The Secret?

2007-03-13T20:11:00.001-07:00

Oprah hosts many shows on gentle, everyday topics such as love, marriage, family and fashion. Here she gains the trust of her minnions. With this trust established, she will occasionally host a show like this. Words like, "energy," 'the universe," and "self," abound, making the viewer feel spiritual and good. But it is deceit at a mammoth level.

Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you from us, so that you may be zealous for them. -Galatians 4:17

Oprah Denies Christ

2007-03-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the light: no man cometh unto the Father but through me" (John 14:6). It may be politically correct to say that all faiths are equally valid, but the truth is, only Jesus has the power to forgive our sins. Buddha, Allah, and Tom Cruise can't help you. Don't be swayed by the Antichrist's sugarcoated lies--remember, our strength comes from the Savior!

2007-03-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

Taken directly from oprah.com:

Meditation with Oprah

I'd like to turn down the lights.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath.

I do this meditation in my tub. Sometimes at Harpo. Sometimes sitting in my living room.

As you close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and on the third, follow your breath as you inhale and exhale.

Follow your breath. Follow your breath…

Oh God, my heart is open to you.
Come sit in my heart.

If you're not comfortable with the word God, it doesn't matter.

Oh, glorious future, my heart is open to you…
All that is divine, my heart is open to you…
All that is love, peace, comfort, grace, joy. My heart is open to you.
Come sit in my heart.

Please know that on this day, you can begin to move forward in your life in a grander, bolder direction. The universe is waiting, willing, joyfully, gloriously, to support you.

All that is love, my heart is open to you.
Come sit in my heart.

The universe is not interested in your struggles and your pain and your sorrow. It wants you to be joyful. We often struggle because we choose to swim upstream.

All that is God, my heart is open to you.
My heart is open to find the flow,
the flow, the flow, the flow that is my life.

I am willing to surrender to the flow that is my life.

Oh, glorious future.
My heart is open to you.
Come sit in my heart.
Oh, glorious future. I surrender my life
to be used to the purpose that is my
soul's calling.

How will you use me? How can I be used?

Use me.
Use my talents.
Use my wit.
Use my skill.
Use my heart.
Use me.

How can I be used to serve the greater calling that is my life?
That is the question.
I surrender to that.
I surrender to that.

I leave this place grateful for the life that I have created now.
I am so grateful for, I am so grateful for, I am so grateful for my life.
I am so grateful for the possibilities.
I am so grateful for the possibilities of my life.

I open my heart to you.

Slowly open your eyes. And know this: I am so grateful for you. Thank you.

Lent: A time to Tear out Vanity

2007-03-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Last month, Pope Benedict called on Christians to reject the cult of self-realization. In a time when our children are constantly told that self-esteem is the ultimate good, that the most important thing in life is not what they're doing for Christ, but how good they feel about themselves, this may sound strange. After all, doesn't our society teach that we should be true to ourselves? But we are called to celebrate our Maker, not ourselves. The "feel good" movement is just one more tool of the Antichrist.

The Black and Angry One

2007-03-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

Nostradamus predicts the third Antichrist:
His hand finally through the bloody ALUS,
He will be unable to protect himself by sea,
Between two rivers he will fear the military hand,
The black and angry one will make him repent of it.

Many students of Nostradamus misinterpret this prediction of the third Antichrist. Napoleon and Hitler are clear as one and two, and while many try to fit Sadaam Hussein into this seemingly vague profile, they are misled, as the true Antichrist would have them be.

We see the male pronouns in all four verses, and it is assumed that these refer to the Antichrist, a male military leader. However, it is clear that the Antichrist is "the black and angry one" - Oprah Winfrey.

Of course, her exterior does not seem angry, "and no wonder, because Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." (2Corinthians 11:14) But, friends, trust me. She is angry.

As for the man in the prediction, many could fill the void. Most obviously David Letterman, unable to protect himself in the sea of people at the Academy Awards during the "Oprah, Uma" incident, and more recently James Frey, as he indeed provoked the Beast's anger, and was forced to repent publicly on her show.

Tune in to Oprah tomorrow at 4 and learn how to drop 10 pounds instantly. Decide for yourself.

The Antichrist: A False Christ

2007-03-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

Most people look for the antichrist to be a visibly evil person, like Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Bill Clinton, etc. But we know that the antichrist will put on the appearance of righteousness:

Matthew 24:24 (King James Version)

24For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

The antichrist will try to deceive us with good works.