Oprah's False Religion

Well, friends, Oprah is up to her usual tricks. This week, an article on Oprah.com offers the following drivel to her mindless followers:

According to spiritual coach Cheryl Richardson, grace is a divine energy or spiritual intelligence that comes from a divine source. "Some people call it 'God,' 'Jesus,' 'spirit,' 'the universe,' 'a higher power'—whatever it is, wherever you are in your path, that's your prerogative in terms of what you call it," Cheryl says. "This beautiful energy is available to each and every one of us, regardless of whether you believe it or not, as well."

BE WARNED: "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." 1 John 4:1

Folks, you can't just go around higglety-pigglety calling everything "God." Oprah is trying to preach the heretical idea that divine love is available to everyone equally--regardless of belief. But we know the TRUTH: that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the one true and loving God, and anyone who says otherwise will burn to a crisp.


When your mind is "open" and working like a parachute, you're in a downward motion toward HELL! There's nothing new about Oprah's New Age foolishness. It's just another name for demon possession.




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♥♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸**¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´ ¯)♥♥
~~~~~JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!~~~~~
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Free Sample from Our New Self-Help Series!

Oprah's aggressive brand of feminism has produced nothing but suffering families and a corrupt culture. That's why we created Slavery Is Freedom! Practical Advice on How to Be a Fulfilled, Godly Woman. This sermon series explains everything a woman needs to know about maintaining a healthy Christian marriage--in simple, easy-to-understand language.

Here's a taste:

Being a Godly Woman© is more than merely keeping a spotless house, raising little angels, and catering to your man's every whim--although these are all important things, too. But since our actions stem from our thoughts, the first thing a Godly Woman© must do is examine her mind.

Paul writes that we should be "casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Whatever does it mean to "take our thoughts into captivity"? Each and every day we have ever so many thoughts, and the Lord Jesus knows each one of them. These thoughts can either be ones that are pleasing to Him--like planning that lemon raspberry pound cake you're going to bake for the church fundraiser--or displeasing to Him--like the thoughts produced by watching Gilmore Girls and other racy television shows. As Christian Ladies©, it is our responsibility to “examine everything” (1 Thessalonians 5:21) to find which of these areas our thoughts fall into. Is it a thought that is in accordance with Scripture? Is it contrary to it? Or is it a ‘neutral’ thought? If it falls into anything but the first category, it must be suppressed!

But how can you keep all of that straight? Just remember to keep your thoughts Cheerful, Obedient, and Womanly--or C.O.W.! Cheerful thoughts make you pleasant to be around--no one likes a whiner! Obedience is the most important virtue a woman can possess. And be sure to stay focused on womanly matters; fretting over politics or current events will only give you wrinkles!

So the next time you're troubled by a thought of some sort, examine it carefully. You can keep those thoughts in check, as long as you're a good C.O.W.!

Oprah's War on the Family

Friends, it's no secret that the American family is under attack. Gay marriage is now legal in several states, and we can already see what that's doing to the sacred institution of marriage.

But the threat posed by the gays is, at least, out in the open. Lucifer and his demons also have more subtle--and therefore more dangerous--weapons at their disposal.

Now this may offend the delicate feelings of some out there who've been brainwashed by the PC media, but I'm going to go ahead and say it: God designed the family, and he did so without consulting Gloria Steinem or Hillary Clinton. That's right--our Lord put the man in charge, as Paul writes:

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5:22-24

Let me emphasize that--in a healthy family, the wife is subject unto her husband in every thing.

Unfortunately--and this should come as no surprise--Oprah has a different view, one that she's passing on to her millions of devoted followers.

Oprah.com: Don't Be a Doormat!

Just what does Oprah consider a "doormat"? Here are a few examples:

*My "to do" list includes things I don't have to do, and things I don't want to do.

*I feel panicky about the thought of someone disliking or disapproving of me.

*I feel virtuous when I override my own needs or wishes to please others.


Why, what is Oprah's "doormat," but a Godly woman?

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Proverbs 31:10-15


Someone has got to save the family. That's why we at OprahTruth ministries are offering, for a limited time, this four-CD self-help series, Slavery is Freedom! Practical Advice on How to Be a Fulfilled, Godly Woman. In it, you'll find advice on a wide range of topics, including:

*How to anticipate your husband's needs and wants, before he asks

*How to spend the allowance he gives you more efficiently

*When to shut up

*Recipes, cleaning tips, and more!



I'd also like to thank everyone who has welcomed me since my recent release from prison. It is a blessing to be back with my family, and half of the proceeds from Slavery is Freedom will go towards covering my legal fees.

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*•. .•* JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, THE LIFE.
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Here's where we answer more questions from dedicated readers!


Anonymous: Okay, this is just ridiculous. Don't you people have anything better to do? For one thing God makes it VERY clear that we cannot judge the hearts of man, only He can... If you don't know that maybe you should open it up and stop using Gods word to hurt others and take it in to your own life and use it to pin point your own hearts. This is upsetting that you are doing this to someone.. I do not agree with these tactics and what a poor example of the true love of God... If you don't agree with her fine.. you don't have to that's free choice that God gives us but I would bet to say that someone who is focusing so much of their attention on Oprah needs to maybe look inside and deal with their own life and maybe focus on things that really matter. You don't like the tv show? TURN IT OFF!!! I do not watch Oprah myself but I do not agree with the tactics you are using... I know deep down that you feel you are in the right.. but if we go by our feelings then we are led astray (that's in the Bible as well) Thats a HUGE accusation to put on someone and its loveless. If you truly have come into contact with the true living God - then why are you not on your knees and praying for the better for others and God's will to prosper? This is a huge mockery on what God really is and once again shows how man-made religion strips the worlds view of a God that is truly loving and merciful... its no wonder so many people are turned off by chrisitanity.. look at how we act! look at how we treat others! this is an ache for the ones out there who truly do care about others no matter what background they come from and what they choose.. remember how much God loved and still loves you in all your mistakes and human errors and how patient He is with you in all your ways? I agree with one blogger: I would say that this is being operated out of fear and remember: "Fear is not of God"

Dear Anonymous,
I'm sorry--who doesn't have anything better to do?

Anonymous: There is no such thing as Antichrist.
That you don't like Oprah is another issue by itself.

Dear Anonymous,
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist."
Soze 19:94

Anonymous: What a load of nonsense. I too am a Christian and what you are writing is not Christlike behaviour at all. You are tarnishing someones reputationn without any evidence at all, which is no better that a witch hunt of old. If you say you are Christian , beware of what you are doing to others. Christian paranio is the worst kind of beligerence.

Dear Anonymous,
If you know anything about those witch hunts, then you know how effective they were. The Puritans certainly would have known better than to dress innocent children up like instruments of Satan and send them to Barnes & Noble for a Harry Potter book release party! As to whether or not you're a true Christian, let's just hope for your sake that the Lord Jesus doesn't give spelling tests in Heaven!

Kasey Wagner: Hey, Susie! This is Kasey (Victoria's daughter). I can't decide which I like more - your blog or the comments left by the poor people who don't get it!

Dear Kasey,
I'm sure I have no idea what you mean. I pray that the Lord will expel the demons inside you.

Until next time!

Satire=Satan's Ire

For the literally dozens of supporters who have written to ask why I haven't updated my satirical blog in the past few months, I am now ready to share the details of my painful journey. I now understand that saying one thing and meaning another is what SATAN does, not what Christians should do!

I created my "Atheism is Awesome!" blog as a Christian response to Anti-Spore, Landover Baptist, Chick.com, and other "Christian" websites that are actually satirically mocking our Lord. Although one thoughtful reader tried to warn me, I didn't realize that by masquerading as an unbeliever, I ran the risk of turning into one!

As with all of Satan's traps, it started out small. I was on my way to church, and I passed my local Starbucks. I had skipped my Sanka that morning, and while I normally make a point of not patronizing businesses that open on Sundays, I thought, "If I'm going to write in the voice of a latte-sipping liberal secular humanist, shouldn't I familiarize myself with what a latte tastes like? So I went in.

What happened next is a blur... You've heard about how drug dealers always give you the first hit free? Well, it's absolutely true! I walked into that store, and right away a young girl in a green smock handed me a sample-sized Triple Mint Mocha Hazelnut Crème Brûlée Frappucino Blast© with caramel syrup. I took a sip. It was...not Sanka! Immediately, it was like a demon had crawled into my mouth and laid its eggs in my brain. All I could think about was getting more!!!

I walked up to the counter and ordered a Venti, and when she asked if I wanted an extra shot, I laughed, like someone else was actually laughing through me, and replied, "Why not two?" I drank the whole think in one gulp and ordered another! I was out of my mind on the magic beans.

I looked at my watch and realized that it was already a quarter past eleven. Now, some still small part of me knew that I was headed down a dangerous path, even though the demon was in control. But to rationalize it to my conscience, I told myself, "I don't want to cause a disruption by going to church late. What if I just continue the charade and spend the entire day as my atheist character? Then I can really expose their folly--now that's good satire!"

That's when the spree began. I ran outside and, spotting some fraternity boys, called out, "I am an unbelieving Jezebel! Who would like to fornicate with me?" Our Lord Jesus was surely protecting me, as there were no takers.

That didn't slow me down, though. I stripped off my denim jumper and ran naked through the streets, shouting, "All hail Oprah! Praise her servant Obama!" A police officer noticed me and started chasing me on his bicycle. I eluded him by ducking into the Adult XXX Superstore, where I disguised myself as a sexy cavewoman. That was when I realized where my evil master was leading me--the Natural History Museum.

Whatever happened next, I have, thankfully, repressed. I know that I was found at around noon, passed out in a compromising position with a statue of Cro-Magnon man.

I am still in prison for breaking and entering, indecent exposure, and the theft of a vibrating T-Rex marital aid. Brothers and Sisters, I urge you to learn from my mistakes. In the name of Our Lord, stay away from satire!!!!

Oprah's Full Power Realized

Well, this week the world has seen just exactly how much power the Antichrist has, what she is capable of. This week has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt the level of influence she has over our nation. We've known this was coming for some time. We've seen the TV endorsements. But I'll confess that it still came as a shock:

Oprah on 30 Rock

More Evidence Looms: Oprah = Satan

As if there weren’t enough evidence showing that Oprah wants us all desperately to follow her to Hell, she boldly published a list of “The Top 20 Things Oprah Knows For Sure” in her online magazine this month. Not only is her confidence suspect, but her second entry—second!—is “You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.” Funny, Oprah, I thought Jesus defined my life. I thought the Bible was my script. And as if that weren’t enough, she goes on to place “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time” at number four. We all know that Jesus, our Lord, said, "Take heed that no man lead you astray. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am the Christ; and shall lead many astray" (Matthew 24:4,5). If we have it Oprah’s way, we’ll all be welcoming Satan into our hearts the first time he appears to us, no questions asked. Well not this girl, Oprah! Not this time.

It is our duty to Jesus, our only Lord and savior, to question these ridiculous Oprah-isms lest we wind up as one of the damned http://www.officialdamned.com/. I have faith that we can unite and fight this demon!