If God Didn't Want Us to Eat Meat, He Wouldn't Have Made It out of Animals

In her latest affront to Our Lord, yesterday Oprah kicked off her Vegan Challenge, openly flaunting Genesis 1:26-28, where man is given dominion over animals.


Fight back now! Here once again is our recipe for Deep-Fried Ham Balls:


8 oz, ham minced
2 scallions, minced
3 eggs, beaten
4 slices Wonder bread crumbs
2 T. flour
½ cup crumbled bacon
2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. dry mustard
Oil for deep-frying
Mix all ingredients. Shape into walnut-size balls. Deep fry until golden brown and serve with cheesy ranch dipping sauce (1 C Cheez Whiz mixed with 1 C Ranch dressing).

More Reader Responses!

Anonymous:

hi every person,

I identified oprahantichrist.blogspot.com after previous months and I'm very excited much to commence participating. I are basically lurking for the last month but figured I would be joining and sign up.

I am from Spain so please forgave my speaking english

Dear Anonymous,

No need to apologize for speaking English--it's God's favorite language!

Anonymous:

This post said, "The only source of absolute truth is the King James Bible."

What about all of the translations prior to KJV? What about the Geneva Bible? What about the original Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic? Are these bunk because they weren't commissioned by King James I (or King James VI of Scotland)?

How about translations to other languages so that other nationalities may understand the Bible? Are they led astray by a translation that's not "the only source of absolute truth"? Is their Word of God not really the Word of God?


Dear Anonymous,

Please see above.


Anonymous:

r you high off your trolly???hahaha

Dear Anonymous,

You must have the gift of prophecy! Just this morning we were riding the trolley (really a bus painted to look like a trolley) to our new job at the bookstore. And I must say, the job does give us a natural "high"! As I mentioned before, it only sells very highbrow books, no Harry Potter or Oprah's book club trash; they let you know this before you even walk in the door, as it says "Adult Book Store" in giant letters. How refreshing! And the customers all seem very happy, if a little shy and nervous. And the owner is even a devout Christian--we know, because we noticed that he carried a wide variety of anointing oils. Some even smell like watermelon or chocolate! We are truly blessed to have found this opportunity.

Anonymous:

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Dear Anonymous,

Yes, we hear about this often at work. What is it, exactly? Some sort of headache treatment?

Anonymous:

so this is an honest question is this whole blog a satire or are you people serious? and you may think, well, you idiot of course its a joke. who would be dumb enough to believe this stuff. but im really high right now. so i cant tell if its joke. please tell me its a joke. NOt that i dont hate oprah. Im actually kind ofin agreement. sheis the anti christ.

Glad to hear that you're also "high" on life, and that you've taken our message to heart! But I must warn you to stay away from satire.

Anonymous:

Wow you people have got to be joking...I cannot even begin to say how completely bigoted people like you are. Jesus's message is one of love and compassion. Hence the turn the other cheek line, and mebbe I'm just a brainwashed cultist, but I think this slanderous behavior is in an if itself unchristian. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and you guys obviously don't want to be treated very well...

Dear Anonymous,

Yes, mebbe you are.

Conservagrrl:

Sadly, that's the kind of immature response you can expect to get from secular liberals when you insult their Supreme Goddess. Between you and I, burning her books seems a little extreme, but I agree that taxpayers shouldn't have to shell out for them.


Dear Conservagrrl,

Between you and me, true godly conservatives understand object pronouns. Nice try, but you are obviously some liberal satirist trying to undermine our mission!


出会い :

エロセレブとの出会いを完全無料でご提供します。逆援助で高額報酬をゲットしよう ham balls?


Dear 出会い ,

Yes, I think they would be delicious with wasabi!



¯`'•.¸(¯`'•. ¸*♥♥♥♥*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)
♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸*♥♥*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)♥
♥♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸**¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´ ¯)♥♥
~~~~~RESIST SATAN!!!!!~~~~~
(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♥♥♥♥*`'•.¸_)`'• .¸_)
♥(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♥♥*`'•.¸_)`'•. ¸_)♥

And don't forget to find us on Twitter!

Our OWN Problem--And Yours

Friends, we are still here!

So why the hiatus, you ask? Did we go on another country ham bender?


Sadly, no. We've had to scale back our operations due to lack of funds. Our country's economic crisis (brought on by O'Bama's job-killing health care law act)is partly to blame. Additionally, we've experienced a sharp decrease in love offerings following the Antichrist's announcement that this will be the last season of her wicked television program. Folks heard about this and apparently decided that our ministry was no longer needed. Didn't we win the battle? Without her show, the Black and Angry One is no longer a threat, right?

Wrong.

It seems one show just wasn't enough for her. The next phase of her plan for world domination includes getting her own network, so she can fill our children's minds
with filth 24/7. We haven't given up hope, though. With help from our loyal flock, we can still win back our nation's airwaves for the Lord.

In the meantime, though, we've had to take on part-time jobs to pay the bills--anointing oil and fryolators aren't free. We're now working at a charming bookstore, one that only carries serious books for adults. But never fear--we'll still be checking in as often as possible.

Praise the Lord!

Keep "Banned Books" in "Banned Books Week"!

As our loyal readers know, we here at OprahTruth Ministries have been busy celebrating Banned Books Week. More specifically, we've been using it to launch our new LibraryTruth Project, an effort to rid our public libraries of Oprah's Book Club filth. Upon closer inspection of the Banned Books Week website, however, we have discovered that most of the events they've planned for this week are in fact against banning books. When did this secular war on Banned Books Week start? I guess it just goes to show that you can't always take a website at face value. It's sad, though, to see the extent to which unsaved liberals have infiltrated our culture--they snap their fingers and suddenly dozens of library science majors around the country are making bulletin boards! Who will protect our children in all of this?

It's not a total waste, though--our mission remains the same. We still remember the reason for the season!!!

Oprah's Book Club Goes after Our Kids!

Luke 18:16 Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.


We here at the LibraryTruth Project are pleased to announce that we have had an enormously successful Banned Books Week so far, and we still hope to cleanse as many libraries as possible by the end of the week! Unfortunately, completely ridding our taxpayer-funded libraries of Oprah's Book Club is a much larger undertaking, as her lies reach far and wide--she's even targeting innocent children!

What kind of filth is the Antichrist pushing on our kids? How about Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, a charming little tale that teaches children that it's all right to dabble in magic and demon worship, that it's fun and educational to communicate with the undead, that ghosts and werewolves and British people are fine and dandy. Is this what you want your children reading?

If not, there are two ways to take our country back: a) homeschool your kids, and b) donate to the LibraryTruth Project today!

Say You're NOT One of Them!

Banned Books Week begins today! (Could starting a week on Saturday be another assault on the Christian calendar? We wouldn't put anything past secular liberals!) That means it's the perfect time to join the LibraryTruth Project and help remove Oprah's lies from taxpayer-supported public libraries.

The Antichrist recently announced her latest infernal book club selection: Uwem Akpan's Say You're One of Them. In case the author's demonic-sounding name isn't enough to scare you away, just look at the first story, "An Ex-Mas Feast." The word "X-mas" is, of course, a product of the secular war on Christmas, which plays right into Oprah's hands. Don't be deceived--join the fight today!

Home Schooling--One Step Further!

Christian warrior Kirk Cameron recently produced a documentary which reveals some troubling statistics: Did you know that in our nation's top 50 colleges and universities, over 54 percent of professors surveyed said they would describe themselves as atheists or agnostics? Additionally, 37 percent responded that they were Buddhist, 12 percent Wiccan, and the remaining 24 percent of the people responsible for educating tomorrow's leaders are in fact Muslims who worship Barack Obama. Fact. Given the ivory tower's loopy worldview, it's no wonder academics are so quick to accept Darwin's "theory" of evolution (a doctrine Oprah promotes heavily among her followers).



What are Christian families to do? Should we deny our children the opportunities that a college degree affords them? Or should we send them off to be brainwashed by pot-smoking atheist sodomites?

Here's a suggestion--since homeschooling is so effective in raising Godly children, why not continue homeschooling your adult children? Write today for an official OprahTruth Ministries "Professor Mom" Home University kit! It comes with a King James Bible, a year's supply of Ramen noodles, and a pack of college-ruled notebook paper--a $99 value, for only $69! With our kit, you'll learn how to talk to your children about serious intellectual questions. Order today and receive a free poster of Mr. Cameron, suitable for framing!