Kill Them With Kindness

"When you get, give; when you learn, teach!" — Oprah

Hidden in the depths of the beast's online lair, I have found suggestions for how you too can use and improve your life. One way to do this: create a "kindness chain."

• Do something nice for someone else, that's it! Encourage them to "pass it on" so the chain isn't broken.

Of course the recipe is simple. What are you supposed to pass on? Kindness? Let's see the next step.

• Create a Kindness Journal to document your chain as it grows! On the inside cover of a notebook, write your name and address, and ask that the journal be returned to you when it is full. Write down your first good deed and give the journal to the person you did something nice for so they can do the same for someone else! This creates a great book of inspiring stories.

A great book of inspiring stories, as well as a list of names to be used at a later, more troublesome time.

• Perform your good deeds in your community, at school, in the dorm or at work. You can choose one of your friends, a random acquaintance or a group of people.

The message - the more people you infect, the better.

• Start as big or small as you like! Cookies, housecleaning, baby-sitting and even an e-Card audio greeting can make a great link in a Kindness Chain.

Masked as kindness, this list is suggesting the spread of Oprah love and worship. When you feed the meter of the poor quarterless person and they ask you to explain the motivation for your generosity, you will explain that it was Oprah, and her live-giving tips that helped you and will ultimately make the world a better place. You will feel good about yourself, but so do people with HIV who don't yet realize they are infected - they think they are celebrating "love" and spreading it to others, when really it is death disguised.

Don't become a victim or spread the disease. Just say no to Oprah. And kindness.