Friday, January 21, 2011

More Reader Responses!


hi every person,

I identified after previous months and I'm very excited much to commence participating. I are basically lurking for the last month but figured I would be joining and sign up.

I am from Spain so please forgave my speaking english

Dear Anonymous,

No need to apologize for speaking English--it's God's favorite language!


This post said, "The only source of absolute truth is the King James Bible."

What about all of the translations prior to KJV? What about the Geneva Bible? What about the original Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic? Are these bunk because they weren't commissioned by King James I (or King James VI of Scotland)?

How about translations to other languages so that other nationalities may understand the Bible? Are they led astray by a translation that's not "the only source of absolute truth"? Is their Word of God not really the Word of God?

Dear Anonymous,

Please see above.


r you high off your trolly???hahaha

Dear Anonymous,

You must have the gift of prophecy! Just this morning we were riding the trolley (really a bus painted to look like a trolley) to our new job at the bookstore. And I must say, the job does give us a natural "high"! As I mentioned before, it only sells very highbrow books, no Harry Potter or Oprah's book club trash; they let you know this before you even walk in the door, as it says "Adult Book Store" in giant letters. How refreshing! And the customers all seem very happy, if a little shy and nervous. And the owner is even a devout Christian--we know, because we noticed that he carried a wide variety of anointing oils. Some even smell like watermelon or chocolate! We are truly blessed to have found this opportunity.


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Dear Anonymous,

Yes, we hear about this often at work. What is it, exactly? Some sort of headache treatment?


so this is an honest question is this whole blog a satire or are you people serious? and you may think, well, you idiot of course its a joke. who would be dumb enough to believe this stuff. but im really high right now. so i cant tell if its joke. please tell me its a joke. NOt that i dont hate oprah. Im actually kind ofin agreement. sheis the anti christ.

Glad to hear that you're also "high" on life, and that you've taken our message to heart! But I must warn you to stay away from satire.


Wow you people have got to be joking...I cannot even begin to say how completely bigoted people like you are. Jesus's message is one of love and compassion. Hence the turn the other cheek line, and mebbe I'm just a brainwashed cultist, but I think this slanderous behavior is in an if itself unchristian. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and you guys obviously don't want to be treated very well...

Dear Anonymous,

Yes, mebbe you are.


Sadly, that's the kind of immature response you can expect to get from secular liberals when you insult their Supreme Goddess. Between you and I, burning her books seems a little extreme, but I agree that taxpayers shouldn't have to shell out for them.

Dear Conservagrrl,

Between you and me, true godly conservatives understand object pronouns. Nice try, but you are obviously some liberal satirist trying to undermine our mission!

出会い :

エロセレブとの出会いを完全無料でご提供します。逆援助で高額報酬をゲットしよう ham balls?

Dear 出会い ,

Yes, I think they would be delicious with wasabi!

¯`'•.¸(¯`'•. ¸*♥♥♥♥*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)
♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸*♥♥*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)♥
♥♥(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸**¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´ ¯)♥♥
~~~~~RESIST SATAN!!!!!~~~~~
(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♥♥♥♥*`'•.¸_)`'• .¸_)
♥(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♥♥*`'•.¸_)`'•. ¸_)♥

And don't forget to find us on Twitter!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Our OWN Problem--And Yours

Friends, we are still here!

So why the hiatus, you ask? Did we go on another country ham bender?

Sadly, no. We've had to scale back our operations due to lack of funds. Our country's economic crisis (brought on by O'Bama's job-killing health care law act)is partly to blame. Additionally, we've experienced a sharp decrease in love offerings following the Antichrist's announcement that this will be the last season of her wicked television program. Folks heard about this and apparently decided that our ministry was no longer needed. Didn't we win the battle? Without her show, the Black and Angry One is no longer a threat, right?


It seems one show just wasn't enough for her. The next phase of her plan for world domination includes getting her own network, so she can fill our children's minds
with filth 24/7. We haven't given up hope, though. With help from our loyal flock, we can still win back our nation's airwaves for the Lord.

In the meantime, though, we've had to take on part-time jobs to pay the bills--anointing oil and fryolators aren't free. We're now working at a charming bookstore, one that only carries serious books for adults. But never fear--we'll still be checking in as often as possible.

Praise the Lord!