Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Oprah's Satanic Conspiracy

First of all, we're proud to report that we're still making progress with our petition to bring back the Oprah Winfrey show in order to reawaken God's flock to her true danger. With any luck, we'll soon have the show back on the air, so that we can get it taken off again. However, it has come to our attention that some signers may be using fake names in order to turn our petition into some sort of joke. "Mike Hunt," "I. P. Freely," and "Anita Dick," whoever you really are, you should be ashamed of yourselves, and your crude comments have been removed from this site. We would like to thank Mr. Heywood Jablome for pointing out their prank--you're a true Christian, sir!

Sadly, many more readers continue to question the need for OprahTruth Ministries. "The show is over," they say. "She hasn't taken over the world. All Oprah ever did was interview celebrities and give away cars. What's the harm?"

Ah, but look at the company she keeps:

What's wrong with Beyoncé and Jay-Z, you may ask, other than the fact that they make secular young people's music? Take a look at this eye-opening documentary:

That's right--and this demonic Illuminati conspiracy is worldwide. Just look at the images that permeate our pop culture:

That's why we're launching our new campaign to band together and battle the forces of Satanism--we're

Fighting to

Because we give a F.U.C.K.!

If you're a concerned Christian willing to join our crusade, the best way you can help is by donating today--but please, no one dollar bills!


Sarah Redmond said...
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Sarah Redmond said...

Thank you OprahTruth for pointing this out to the world! Oprah and her demon minion Gayle King must be stopped.

And can I just say that WHY would you need to listen to Jay Z when the best rap music has already been recorded by DC Talk? See the proof for yourself:

KT said...

It's true! They've got ninety-nine problems, but Satan isn't one! Hallelujah!

Misanthropic Bastard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joshua's Trumpet said...

If you are a Christian fighting for Christ's Kingdom, why do you swear?

'Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.'

Eph 4:29

Anonymous said...

U are insanely stupid.Go to hell