Monday, September 22, 2008

Attention Blasphemous Readers

I will have all readers know that OprahTruth Ministries will not be undermined by IGNORANT people who leave comments ANONYMOUSLY on our blog in attempts to sabotage our mission.  Rather than disable the anonymous commenting feature, we will hit you head on.

Deborah writes:

DEAR MS. WINFREY,

I WAS GLADENED TO HEAR OF YOUR RECOVERY FROM THE LIFE THREATENING CONDITION YOU SUFFERED LAST WEEK. IT WAS WONDERFUL WHEN DR. OZ WAS ABLE TO CURE YOU OF YOUR THYROID PROBLEMS, BUT NOW THAT YOU HAVE THE SECRET YOU CAN WILL YOURSELF BACK TO HEALTH ON YOUR OWN. WHY WON'T THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE SECRET?

I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR SPEEDY RETURN TO THE TV SO YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT BOOK TO READ NEXT.

YOUR IN CHRIST,
DEBORAH

Dear Deborah,

First of all, don't think for a second that we cannot see through your sarcasm.  If you wish to be satirical, you should really learn to be more subtle and serious to gain credibility.  Next, learn to spell "gladdened" and don't be so careless as to forget the "s" at the end of "yours" in your smug salutation.  But it's interesting you choose the so very clever name of "Dr. Oz" because, just like the fictional wizard, once you take Oprah's Satan-granted power away, she is nothing but a sniveling coward behind a curtain.  If she only had a heart.

So please, Deborah, your oh so clever wittiness does not intimidate us.  However, your references to prayer and Christ are deeply offensive, and you have henceforth been added to the OprahTruth ministries prayer chain.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Breaking news from Christian News Wire:

http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/861387971.html

"Barack Obama is directly linked to Satanic teachings through his close association with Oprah Winfrey"

Anonymous said...

"But it's interesting you choose the so very clever name of "Dr. Oz" because, just like the fictional wizard, once you take Oprah's Satan-granted power away, she is nothing but a sniveling coward behind a curtain."

You are ignorant!

Dr. Mehmet Oz is America's Doctor! He was appointed by Oprah. You would know that if you watched Oprah like the rest of America, fool. He also wrote the official owner's manual to the human body. If you don't have it, I bet you are fat and have diabetes.

You should learn more about our country's most important medical person before you open your fat mouth and type into the internet what your fat mouth spills out all over your shirt!

I am angry at all this but I will pray for you!!!

Laura Wellness said...

Why is there all this hate-energy aimed at Oprah?

Oprah is here to help advance Humanity to our next stage of being (Puretronic energy waveforms). Why do you want to hold our species back? Are you afraid of change? If you don't want to cast off your physical shell and join the rest of us in the Aetheric Dynosphere then you are welcome to stay behind. Oprah is not a being of Force, but rather a being of Will and of Light. Open your eyes!

Please, just let Oprah complete her mission in peace.

Anonymous said...

It appears to me that the last two comments here only serve to validate the claims of this blog. You have been sucked in and brainwashed by Oprah. Case in point.

March on, OprahTruth Ministries!

Anonymous said...

FACT: Since Oprah's show started its broadcast, rates of homicide, muggings, pick-pocketing, domestic abuse, Satanic ritual abuse, date rape, cocaine use, fatal roller-coaster accidents, and type-6 diabetes have all DECREASED!

FACT: Oprah has INCREASED literacy rates in our country by 7.4%, with a shocking 38.2% increase among those previously considered learning disabled.

FACT: Oprah single-handedly saved the publishing industry, which was teetering on the verge of collapse, with the introduction of her book club, and the woman's magazine industry with the introduction of O, The Oprah Magazine.

FACT: Oprah's school in Africa has already produced seven certified Mensa-level geniuses and one Prometheus Society inductee.

All these FACTS are easily verifiable by researching www.Oprah.com. I ask you this: How can those who oppose Oprah explain these FACTS?

They can't. That is also a FACT!

Anonymous said...

It appears that you are in deeper than you realized, for it is written, "even the devil himself masquerades as an angel of light."

Of course she does good things. how else is the antichrist going to fool the world? I wouldn't dispute your facts - I would use them as proof that she is dangerous. Your loyalty to her proves it.

Anonymous said...

And, look where you get your "facts" - oprah.com? Really? Wow. I'd believe EVERYTHING I read there!

Anonymous said...

Research the kalpa taru chakra. This is the ancient yoga behind THE SECRET.

Melissa said...

I cant believe that all these people are posting as 'anonymous'. If this were my blog I wouldnt allow anonymous comments any longer...let them show their face if they have something to say. Everyone has the right to their opinion but you should also have the nerve to use your name if you plan to post. Dont hide behind anonymity.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand what is a joke and what is serious. But it's all ^%$# funny.