I will have all readers know that OprahTruth Ministries will not be undermined by IGNORANT people who leave comments ANONYMOUSLY on our blog in attempts to sabotage our mission. Rather than disable the anonymous commenting feature, we will hit you head on.
DEAR MS. WINFREY,
I WAS GLADENED TO HEAR OF YOUR RECOVERY FROM THE LIFE THREATENING CONDITION YOU SUFFERED LAST WEEK. IT WAS WONDERFUL WHEN DR. OZ WAS ABLE TO CURE YOU OF YOUR THYROID PROBLEMS, BUT NOW THAT YOU HAVE THE SECRET YOU CAN WILL YOURSELF BACK TO HEALTH ON YOUR OWN. WHY WON'T THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE SECRET?
I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR SPEEDY RETURN TO THE TV SO YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT BOOK TO READ NEXT.
YOUR IN CHRIST,
First of all, don't think for a second that we cannot see through your sarcasm. If you wish to be satirical, you should really learn to be more subtle and serious to gain credibility. Next, learn to spell "gladdened" and don't be so careless as to forget the "s" at the end of "yours" in your smug salutation. But it's interesting you choose the so very clever name of "Dr. Oz" because, just like the fictional wizard, once you take Oprah's Satan-granted power away, she is nothing but a sniveling coward behind a curtain. If she only had a heart.
So please, Deborah, your oh so clever wittiness does not intimidate us. However, your references to prayer and Christ are deeply offensive, and you have henceforth been added to the OprahTruth ministries prayer chain.