Friday, September 11, 2009

When the Antichrist Goes to Sleep at Night, She Checks Her Closet for Chuck Norris


Today our thanks go out to the dedicated reader who forwarded us this editorial by none other than Chuck Norris. That's right, Walter, Texas Ranger himself! Who can forget him in Forest Gump Warrior or Fire Walker with Me? And he's got Oprah's number! Norris explains how Oprah's brand of religion "only quotes relatively benign sayings of Jesus, avoiding the more difficult ones."

Well said! All anyone wants to hear today is that wishy-washy "love thy neighbor" nonsense. But no one wants to hear that they can't steal or commit adultery or make graven images. Norris supports the National Council on Bible Curriculuum in Public Schools, an organization that promotes decent Christian values

We salute you, Lone Wolf McDuck--keep fighting the good fight!

4 comments:

Sarah Redmond said...

Chuck Norris is definitely a creationist, as touted by the famous line, "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

Also, I would personally fund the production of the film "Fire Walker With Me."

Chuck Norris Facts never seem to get old for me.

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Anonymous said...

so this is an honest question is this whole blog a satire or are you people serious? and you may think, well, you idiot of course its a joke. who would be dumb enough to believe this stuff. but im really high right now. so i cant tell if its joke. please tell me its a joke. NOt that i dont hate oprah. Im actually kind ofin agreement. sheis the anti christ.

Anonymous said...

Wow you people have got to be joking...I cannot even begin to say how completely bigoted people like you are. Jesus's message is one of love and compassion. Hence the turn the other cheek line, and mebbe I'm just a brainwashed cultist, but I think this slanderous behavior is in an if itself unchristian. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and you guys obviously don't want to be treated very well...